Daughter. Child. Christen.
These were the first names given to me when I entered this world. A few years later, “sister” and “friend” were added. In adolescence, emotional names were piled onto the growing list comprising my identity.
Shy. Awkward. Boney.
Ultimately became intimidated, loser and anorexic.
Those names eventually mutated and formed even more titles, which I used to define myself. Still, the more the names multiplied the more their meaning remained the same.
Not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. Not popular enough. Not likeable enough. Not successful enough. Not worthy enough. Not good enough.
Growing up, I think most people, like myself, spend their childhood and adolescent years trying to figure out their place and purpose in the world. We explore and experiment with many new and different hobbies, groups of friends, areas of influence, etc. We desperately try to fit our uniquely designed square pegs into an impossibly round and unrealistic hole nonetheless persisting in our attempts to make it work. We hit 18 years of age and believe we have our individuality nailed down as we swiftly and naively wander into life as a young adult. Whether it happens immediately following secondary school or several years or even decades later, wisdom eventually gives us the wake up call we need to alert us we do not have life all figured out nor do we fully understand our true identity.
I’ve struggled with my identity my entire life, but a few years ago I discovered the root of my identity crisis – my longing for a purpose and worth. Perhaps it is selfish of me to feel this way but I strongly desire for my life and time on earth to have meaning. I don’t want to drift through life like some vapor that is here one minute and gone the next. I want to leave a legacy that purposefully and intentionally lives out God’s destiny for my life.
But I am deaf to my own calling. Quite often I am distracted and maybe even blind to recognize my God-given purpose. I allow myself to get too caught up in the titles that I believe define me and instead become bitter and frustrated. I may be enoughin God’s eyes but I fear I am not doing enough to utilize the gifts He has gifted me. (Have you ever felt this way?)
I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend, amongst other roles, descriptions and titles. In my earthly flesh, I am Christen Elizabeth Fox.
But what is the purpose of any of those roles, names, titles or descriptions? What is the unique purpose assigned to me as Christen Fox?
In placing too much emphasis on the names I go by in this world I have forgotten who I really am. I have neglected my exceptionally crafted and distinctly designed soul. I have forgotten the person God created me to be and the many names He has given to me:
Child of the King.
There is no possible way that I can fulfill God’s purpose for my life until I fully accept the gift of my true identity.
My identity in Christ.
I have to willingly receive the gift of salvation through Christ Jesus before I can unwrap the package that contains my identity. Learning who I am after being reborn in the Spirit will allow each layer of my identity to be revealed. The only way to answer the “What is my purpose?” question is to answer the “Who am I?” question first.
I am more than a mom, more than a wife, more than a friend. I am me. Sure these names make up the person I am but they do not define all that I am and all that I was created to be. Each passion in my heart, every little thing that sets my soul on fire, and every single experience I have ever encountered were for a specific purpose. God’s purpose.
Friend, your life, like my life, was established for a divine purpose. Our purpose, our reason for living and our unique attributes were assigned to us long before we were even born. Each day of our lives was planned before we ever took our first breath. We are chosen, beloved, and a child of the King. Our individual lives play a very significant role in a very big and important story.
You belong, dear friend. You have worth. You are irreplaceable and one-of-a-kind. You are priceless. There is and ever will be only one of Y O U. You are the only one who can ever complete the work God has assigned to you.
We are God’s precious children. We are more than a list of names, more than a bunch of titles and more than the many adjectives used to describe who we are or who we (or others) think we are.
When we find Jesus, we are found. When we accept Christ’s sacrifice for our sins, we accept our new identity in Christ. Our identity is the road map that guides us toward our purpose.
The only way to live your life fully is to fully receive all that God has planned for you. It starts when you respond when He calls your name.
My Chosen One.
Hello, Creator, Father, God. My name is YOURS.
* * *
“Hello, my name is child of the one true king
I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, and I have been set free
Amazing grace is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true king”
~ lyrics taken from “Hello, my name is” by Matthew West
“From my mothers womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again, into a family
Your blood flows through my veins
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God”
~ lyrics taken from “No Longer Slaves” by Bethel Music
“Lord, You know everything there is to know about me.
You perceive every movement of my heart and soul,
and You understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.
You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.
You read my heart like an open book
and You know all the words I’m about to speak
before I even start a sentence!
You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.
You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,
and in kindness You follow behind me
to spare me from the harm of my past.
With Your hand of love upon my life,
You impart a blessing to me.
This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible!
Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.
Where could I go from Your Spirit?
Where could I run and hide from Your face?
If I go up to heaven, You’re there!
If I go down to the realm of the dead, You’re there too!
If I fly with wings into the shining dawn, You’re there!
If I fly into the radiant sunset, You’re there waiting!
Wherever I go, Your hand will guide me;
Your strength will empower me.
It’s impossible to disappear from You
or to ask the darkness to hide me,
for Your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.
There is no such thing as darkness with You.
The night, to you, is as bright as the day;
there’s no difference between the two.
You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside
and my intricate outside,
and wove them all together in my mother’s womb.
I thank You, God, for making me so mysteriously complex!
Everything You do is marvelously breathtaking.
It simply amazes me to think about it!
How thoroughly you know me, Lord!
You even formed every bone in my body
when You created me in the secret place,
carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something.
You saw who You created me to be before I became me!
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,
the number of days You planned for me
were already recorded in Your book.” ~ Psalm 139:1-16 (TPT)